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[ikols]

Display Name: LOKIOFASGARD
Profile Photo: [ IMG ]
Notes: #howdoyoudofellowmortals #q&a #aesir

[ No horns today! Just a guy in a green hoodie with clashing eyes. ]

If I had a penny for every time I am corrected about not, in fact, being a god, I would have a buttload of pennies. I understand the mortal scope is narrow but really, it's quite rude to tell a person they are an alien or a confused immortal. [ Loki shrugs where he is sat in his kitchen at the breakfast bar, nursing an iced coffee and some form of (delicious!) bacon bap. He holds up his fingers. ] I am currently the patron god of: chaos, mischief, lies, stories, outcasts, all those less than hetero sexual acts, those helpful little tabs you use in your notebooks to faster find things ...

[ Tearing a bite out of his bap, he thumbs some ketchup off the corner of his mouth and chews thoughtfully. ]

Would it help if this was a Q-and-A session? Alright. Have at thee with the rude queries, o' mighty rabble. I reserve the right to tell moronic inquiries to fuck off.

Oh! Also. I have worked out a spell that will allow me to extract your universe designation if you are not aware of it and I need volunteers. It's a kind of timestamp or reality-stamp, rather, and it is written into your very being, flesh and spirit. Interdimensional reality warpers usually know theirs but the majority of folks don't, and I wish to build a map of each realm from which we all hail. I promise the process does not hurt! You may get a little woosy and re-live the best or worst moments of your life while under the spell, so keep that in mind before offering.

Thanks so much! You may ask your invasive questions now, as I am sure you are dying to do.

Comments

[resurrxion]

Dunno. But if tech's involved David's usually not far behind.

[ikols]

Perhaps your feud needs to end, maybe? So you can check on him? I know he is wracked with guilt, I spoke with him the other day after calling Laurie.

[resurrxion]

[ hm ]

You called Laurie?

[ikols]

Mmhm.

[resurrxion]

[ hmmm gonna revisit that in a second ]

But look, I get he feels bad. But I need him to respect me. Which means not making me feel insane any time I think about something or constantly bringing up junk that I'm working through like I'm just gonna be busted forever.

Sure, I feel that way. But he just keeps making me feel like that feeling's right.

[ikols]

Josh, let me tell you something. I jerked David off once yet any physical attraction I have to the man is constantly filtered aside by his mouth, so I really do understand when you say he talks way too much for his own good because frankly I would break him beneath me otherwise, but I do feel that he respects you a great deal and I have faith he has already learned his lesson.

He's just being sad about it now and, really, that is no way to teach anyone anything.

[resurrxion]

[ there's an opportunity for a lewd joke there, but he forgoes it. because he is right.

there's nothing but a CRONCH of chips for a beat. ]

... I'm not doing it just to be petty. He kind of trampled on some pretty big issues he knew I had. I'm mostly over it, but like, maybe not totally yet? And when I forgive him I wanna be sure its because I'm ready to and it's good for me to, not like, because he's sad.

It probably makes me kinda a bitch either way. I just got a long history of bein' told I'm stupid and need someone to make decisions for me, and every single time that's ever happened it's landed with me dead.

Hence me sayin' mutants aren't so good about protecting our own.

[ikols]

[ Oh, he washes his hands of all this drama! All he wants is for his friends to feel better so he's going to be facetiously shallow to provide a distraction and pretend Josh didn't just have a Depressed Moment. ]

Do you know what would instil the importance of what you're saying to him? Do it during sex and have him agree before he orgasms. Now that's memorable!

[resurrxion]

See I was thinking about just crawling in through his window and yelling it in his ear first thing in the morning.

[ikols]

[ Aw, nuts, he was hoping for a laugh. ]

Whispering while he's asleep might work better, infiltrate his subconscious.

[ Not that Loki has done that to anyone ever before, no. ]

[resurrxion]

[ hm ]

Nah. I tried that in highschool and it totally never worked.

[ikols]

Maybe you weren't doing it right. Do you want me to try?

[resurrxion]

Nah, then he'll get mad at us for screwing with his head.

On Saturday I'll just be boring and take him to get coffee and talk.

[ikols]

I've been on so many coffee dates since I got here. I think everyone is having breakdowns.

[resurrxion]

... Good point. Collectively we should maybe rethink coffee shops as a place to go when we're sad.

[ikols]

We should go to clubs. Clubs are where the cool people go.

[resurrxion]

You can't talk at a club.

[ikols]

[ LIGHTBULB. ]

... You can at a strip club.

[resurrxion]

Nah, I'm not stripping again.

[ wait hold on that's not what he's saying. ]

... But that's not a terrible idea. [ yes it is. terrible for david. ]

[ikols]

Back up, which I am now certain you could, what do you mean you were once a stripper? You can't mention that and gloss over it. I need details!

[resurrxion]

Not a ton to give. I was on my own after seventeen so I did a ton of odd jobs to get by. Stripping paid well and I used to be a huge attention hog, so...

[ikols]

Oh, I am definitely finding a strip club now. I am already googling!

[resurrxion]

I said used to be!

[ RUDE LOKI???? ]

[ikols]

I want to go to one! You can show us around!

[ "US" ]

[resurrxion]

Do you think they all have the same layout, oooooor?