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[ikols]

Display Name: LOKIOFASGARD
Profile Photo: [ IMG ]
Notes: #howdoyoudofellowmortals #q&a #aesir

[ No horns today! Just a guy in a green hoodie with clashing eyes. ]

If I had a penny for every time I am corrected about not, in fact, being a god, I would have a buttload of pennies. I understand the mortal scope is narrow but really, it's quite rude to tell a person they are an alien or a confused immortal. [ Loki shrugs where he is sat in his kitchen at the breakfast bar, nursing an iced coffee and some form of (delicious!) bacon bap. He holds up his fingers. ] I am currently the patron god of: chaos, mischief, lies, stories, outcasts, all those less than hetero sexual acts, those helpful little tabs you use in your notebooks to faster find things ...

[ Tearing a bite out of his bap, he thumbs some ketchup off the corner of his mouth and chews thoughtfully. ]

Would it help if this was a Q-and-A session? Alright. Have at thee with the rude queries, o' mighty rabble. I reserve the right to tell moronic inquiries to fuck off.

Oh! Also. I have worked out a spell that will allow me to extract your universe designation if you are not aware of it and I need volunteers. It's a kind of timestamp or reality-stamp, rather, and it is written into your very being, flesh and spirit. Interdimensional reality warpers usually know theirs but the majority of folks don't, and I wish to build a map of each realm from which we all hail. I promise the process does not hurt! You may get a little woosy and re-live the best or worst moments of your life while under the spell, so keep that in mind before offering.

Thanks so much! You may ask your invasive questions now, as I am sure you are dying to do.

Comments

[ikols]

Oh, I am definitely finding a strip club now. I am already googling!

[resurrxion]

I said used to be!

[ RUDE LOKI???? ]

[ikols]

I want to go to one! You can show us around!

[ "US" ]

[resurrxion]

Do you think they all have the same layout, oooooor?

[ikols]

I don't know, do they? Will there be pedestals with poles for the beautiful dancers? Ought we bring lots of single notes to shower them with in gratitude or come arrayed with twenties and fifties? [ GASP! ] Could we rent a pole of our own?

[resurrxion]

Wait, hold on. You're tellin me you never actually been to a strip club before?

[ikols]

Why would I have?

[resurrxion]

It just seems like a you kinda place.

[ikols]

What's that supposed to mean?

[resurrxion]

Well if you're gonna trick somebody into taking a deal or doing what you wanna, the best way is to get them distracted isn't it? Where else is more distracting?

[ikols]

Are you saying I have a distracting body, Josh?

[resurrxion]

You have a literal God Bod.

[ikols]

Gods don't have god bods naturally, have you ever seen Volstagg the Voluminous? Anyway, thanks.

[resurrxion]

Well, you're a shapeshifter? So whatever you feel is whatever you naturally are, so, God Bod.

[ikols]

Shapeshifting only lets me become things I already identify as, I can't turn into the hottest guy out there on a whim.

Unless you're saying that with a body you admire so highly, you think I should be taking my clothes off in front of the appreciative masses.

[resurrxion]

[ god he needs to learn when to shut up. ]

Wait, but I saw you turn into a fox.

[ikols]

Yes, I am a fox.

I am not a man who sometimes turns into a fox or a woman or a horse, I am always these things with a stronger pull toward one in particular at a certain time.

[resurrxion]

[ squin... ts. ]

Wait, okay, so, you can't pull a Mystique?

[ikols]

I can become this and that, for short periods. Cat Thor is a favourite of Squirrel Girl. But to maintain that? To live as it? Not forever, no.

[resurrxion]

Okay, I think I get it. There's forms that are you, and then there's forms you borrow, and the you forms are always you and are tied to your subconscious which is why you eventually revert back to them?

[ikols]

Good job. For a man who thinks I ought to be shaking my godly booty for money, you do pay attention to what matters.

[resurrxion]

Hey, okay, you're the one that put yourself on the stage. I was just thinkin' it'd be a smart place to take people for shady business deals.

[ but also ]

It's also kinda how my powers work. I mean, I can't shapeshift, it just changes my skin.

[ikols]

So if you were flayed, that person could make your skin change into something else? Like a magical cloak?

... That came out a lot more gruesome than intended in my head.

[resurrxion]

Nah. From what I'm told when I'm dead it just turns back to normal? Or else I'd be making bank selling designer mutant leather.

[ that's not much better. ]

I mean my brain turns my skin gold or lead depending on how I'm feeling. It took me a super long time to accept that it was... my brain trying to split how my powers worked 'cause I was freaked out about them, not embracing the whole of them.

[ikols]

Then your brain is the most useful part of you. Fear not, Josh, if supervillains try to harness the power of your carcass one day, somehow, if you ever die, I will save your brain and take you somewhere safe.