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Instagram/Twitter ! Photo | UN: @DeFineCat | Public

Ok, I have a shirt and shoes. How come I'm still not getting any service? #malldiscrimination

Ah, i see the problem. Only one pair of shoes. Most people would say you have two sets of feet. Clearly they are wrong.

Maybe, but I'm not about to try manipulating things with shoes on my forepaws. It's ridiculous.

It would be ridiculous. And so rude to expect of you.

Turning my kitty paws into functional stubby hands is much less objectionable to most people than using tendrils from elsewhere. And I prefer to choose who and when I shock.

It's the potential for toebeans I expect.

The human obsession with paw-pads will never cease to amuse.

Toe beans are super cute. I'm sorry.

Humans are a strange animal. For so many reasons. And thinking random things are cute is just one symptom.

Oh, we're really weird. I'm not going to argue about that.

But deep down, we're all bizarre beasts.

That is very true.

because youre short

Think I should hop on the service counter?

yeah obviously. you cant climb their legs its rude

Also harder to do with shoes on. But apparently selling to "animals" is a grey area. It's just not a reasonable world.

sounds like youre not trying hard enough. i can see your backclaws in your catflops. you need to train more

Are you volunteering to help?

i dont know where to find volcanoes in michigan

I didn't realize being a human jungle gym required a volcanic presence.

you dont train with lava?

Okay but that's a great shirt. Do you know where I could get another of them?

For you or Chewie?

For Chewie, no doubt.

I would ascertain your feline companion's opinion on clothing before getting too invested in fashion. Most cats are not fans, despite the volume of pictures out there. They're are sometimes more frozen in fear than happy to be in something that constricts their movement.

She's not exactly 'Most cats' she's a species of alien from outer space known as a Flerken. Most earth cat rules tend to not apply to her.

All the more reason to be reasonable about clothing. Although I can certainly send you the information on my tailor...

[Tim has gotten help from a kind shop-owner for Haley's pic. She's plopped on a counter next to a cash register, giving the camera something like a dubious stare.]

no pockets -> no money? dog treats don't buy themselves.