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[somepig]

display name: Spider-Ham
profile pic: here
notes: n/a

[What appears onscreen is a pig in a Spider-Man suit. He doesn't look quite real, though. Aside from the fact that he walks on two limbs? He also looks over-saturated and cel-shaded. Like a cartoon character come to life.]

Howdy fellow Confluencers! That's the right word for it right? I'm Spider-Ham! I'm sure most of you want to get home by now, and lucky for you I got this handy dimensional travel watch. Watch and be amazed as I teleport from here to back to mine then back to here in the blink of an eye.

[He doesn't teleport]

...in the blink of an eye.

[He still doesn't teleport]

Hang on for second folks, technical difficulties. Lemme just flip this open and- wait, where's the Bee-Yonder? Okay, there's a note here...On vacation, bee back later.

ON VACATION, BEE BACK LATER? You've gotta be kidding me! What is this hogwash?

Comments

LOKIOFASGARD, text;

[ikols]

[ Being invisible kind of sucks right now but he can't not respond to this, not when his boyfriend is a Peter. ]

i think this brings us up to 5 spider-folk

Re: LOKIOFASGARD, text;

[somepig]

Ooh, which ones? Anybody I'd know?

Keep in mind I know a lot of them.

[ikols]

all humans, sadly

[somepig]

Yeah, that's what I meant by knowing a lot of them. We had this whole interdimensional team-up thing going for a while.

[ikols]

i don't meet many people who have worked interdimensionally, good to know
who is the Bee-Yonder?

[somepig]

He's an omnipotent bee. We teamed up when the Council of Kangs tried to destroy my universe.

[ikols]

sounds legit
you ever run into Mother somehow, keep skipping universes

council of kangs failed, then?

[somepig]

Sorta? 616 Spidey, Kangaroo, and I beat the Kang they sent to destroy us, then we found out Mojo had hijacked their plan in order to force us to make ripoffs of crappy cartoons, and after we dealt with him they decided to leave us alone out of gratitude.

[ikols]

that sounds pretty reasonable for kang(s)

[somepig]

Well it
was either leave us be or have to keep dealing with us.

[ikols]

you're such a cute pig 3:)

[somepig]

Also a taken pig, but I'll take the compliment.

[ikols]

you usually are in every world, it's sweet
i caught a you who isn't, you'll probably meet him

[ Sending him a picture of himself smiling, as a hungry-looking fox. He cannot believe Peter is a pig, this is delightful. ]

[somepig]

Huh. Weird. Usually you're a dog in my universe. Same with the rest of the Arfgardians.

[ikols]

[ !!! ]

i'm not really a dog sort of person

[somepig]

Well, no, clearly you're a fox person That's why I even brought it up.

I wouldn't take it personally. There's a universe where I'm actually thousands of spiders stuffed into a Spider-Man suit. It's a bit of a sticky situation.