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[ikols]

Display Name: LOKIOFASGARD
Profile Photo: [ IMG ]
Notes: #howdoyoudofellowmortals #q&a #aesir

[ No horns today! Just a guy in a green hoodie with clashing eyes. ]

If I had a penny for every time I am corrected about not, in fact, being a god, I would have a buttload of pennies. I understand the mortal scope is narrow but really, it's quite rude to tell a person they are an alien or a confused immortal. [ Loki shrugs where he is sat in his kitchen at the breakfast bar, nursing an iced coffee and some form of (delicious!) bacon bap. He holds up his fingers. ] I am currently the patron god of: chaos, mischief, lies, stories, outcasts, all those less than hetero sexual acts, those helpful little tabs you use in your notebooks to faster find things ...

[ Tearing a bite out of his bap, he thumbs some ketchup off the corner of his mouth and chews thoughtfully. ]

Would it help if this was a Q-and-A session? Alright. Have at thee with the rude queries, o' mighty rabble. I reserve the right to tell moronic inquiries to fuck off.

Oh! Also. I have worked out a spell that will allow me to extract your universe designation if you are not aware of it and I need volunteers. It's a kind of timestamp or reality-stamp, rather, and it is written into your very being, flesh and spirit. Interdimensional reality warpers usually know theirs but the majority of folks don't, and I wish to build a map of each realm from which we all hail. I promise the process does not hurt! You may get a little woosy and re-live the best or worst moments of your life while under the spell, so keep that in mind before offering.

Thanks so much! You may ask your invasive questions now, as I am sure you are dying to do.

Comments

[thecoolerloki]

20s-40s, so like extremely old.

And it's reincarnation actually. When the old Loki died, I was born in his place. #LittleGodThings

[nerdylilspidey]

Ew. Though older than 40 is WAY worse.

Whoa, do gods get born into 12 year old forms??

[thecoolerloki]

I like to think I'm closer to 13, but yes, in my case.

[nerdylilspidey]

Is that super disorienting? I feel like it would be.

[thecoolerloki]

How so? I still have the memories of my first childhood, if that's what you mean.

[nerdylilspidey]

Dude
That's kind of exactly what I mean. Do you remember the rest of your adulthood, too??

[thecoolerloki]

No, only up until this age. While the exact details are likely confusing to a mortal, it might be easier for you to think of it this way:

Loki's born in Jotunheim and he grew up in Asgard, yay!
Loki is a tween, cool, what will happen next?
Wow, Loki is suddenly in modern day Midgard and Thor is OLD!!!

[nerdylilspidey]

That sounds no less confusing.

But I believe you!

[thecoolerloki]

What part confuses you? I thought I made it very simple by leaving out the fact that gods' memories are stories and thus mine shift depending on what story is popular and who is telling it.

[nerdylilspidey]

It just felt like a list of unconnected facts! So the memories=stories thing was actually much clearer, so thank you for that. :P

[thecoolerloki]

It was the literal order in which I experienced those events.

>be me
>be suddenly thrust into 2011 by way of reincarnation
>blinking guy gif

[nerdylilspidey]

That's a way cooler way to end up in 2011. I just grew into it. So boring.

[thecoolerloki]

Boring, but at least you didn't have to deal with everyone wanting to kill you for being Loki. Although I suppose there's a few people who want to kill Spider-Man for being Spider-Man.

[nerdylilspidey]

I know of at least five different people who've tried that on me specifically.

[thecoolerloki]

We should compare lists! :O

Here is mine: Laufey, Tyr, Balder, Hela, Leah, Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun, Sif, Brunnhilde, Mephisto, Hel-Wolf, Garm, Iron Man, Nightmare, the other Fear Gods, most denizens of Otherworld, most denizens of Asgard, most denizens of Midgard, repeat for every other realm, my dog,

[nerdylilspidey]

YOUR DOG???
Why is YOUR DOG on your list?!

[thecoolerloki]

Because he tried to kill me?

[nerdylilspidey]

What if he wasn't, though? What if he was just having a bad day or something?

Dogs have bad days, don't they?

[thecoolerloki]

Oh absolutely. But my dog led me into a trap by convincing me to hide somewhere and promising he'd cover for me. He then proceeded to lead his murderous father straight to me and admitted he was not at all loyal to me.

[nerdylilspidey]

Soooooo your dog can talk?

I don't know why I'm surprised. You're literally a Loki.

[thecoolerloki]

TBF, he's the only one of his litter who can.

[nerdylilspidey]

Coool.

Okay, next question: Did you actually do stuff to earn this list or is it literally because you're a Loki?

[thecoolerloki]

A bit of both?

[nerdylilspidey]

Should I be concerned?

[thecoolerloki]

Should you?