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[ikols]

Display Name: LOKIOFASGARD
Profile Photo: [ IMG ]
Notes: #howdoyoudofellowmortals #q&a #aesir

[ No horns today! Just a guy in a green hoodie with clashing eyes. ]

If I had a penny for every time I am corrected about not, in fact, being a god, I would have a buttload of pennies. I understand the mortal scope is narrow but really, it's quite rude to tell a person they are an alien or a confused immortal. [ Loki shrugs where he is sat in his kitchen at the breakfast bar, nursing an iced coffee and some form of (delicious!) bacon bap. He holds up his fingers. ] I am currently the patron god of: chaos, mischief, lies, stories, outcasts, all those less than hetero sexual acts, those helpful little tabs you use in your notebooks to faster find things ...

[ Tearing a bite out of his bap, he thumbs some ketchup off the corner of his mouth and chews thoughtfully. ]

Would it help if this was a Q-and-A session? Alright. Have at thee with the rude queries, o' mighty rabble. I reserve the right to tell moronic inquiries to fuck off.

Oh! Also. I have worked out a spell that will allow me to extract your universe designation if you are not aware of it and I need volunteers. It's a kind of timestamp or reality-stamp, rather, and it is written into your very being, flesh and spirit. Interdimensional reality warpers usually know theirs but the majority of folks don't, and I wish to build a map of each realm from which we all hail. I promise the process does not hurt! You may get a little woosy and re-live the best or worst moments of your life while under the spell, so keep that in mind before offering.

Thanks so much! You may ask your invasive questions now, as I am sure you are dying to do.

Comments

[ikols]

why are we having a dinner night again? who else is coming?

[helpdesk_hero]

Because dinner parties are fun? Balthier and I have been considering one at his new place. I have a few invites I'm allowed.

[ikols]

but WHO

[helpdesk_hero]

I haven't asked yet. I haven't invited yet. Probably Bart, give him a plus one. You, of course. Beyond that, I don't know. The mystery is a delight in and of itself.

[ikols]

am i supposed to bring someone?

[helpdesk_hero]

I don't see why not. We should have space. I will have to ask Balthier.

[ikols]

billy, i choose billy
billy is my plus one

[helpdesk_hero]

[The response is a VERY long time coming, especially from a technopath who could send a message with a thought. And it wasn't because of him judging Loki and Billy in any way, though he didn't doubt it could he taken for that. It was because of Balthier.]

I'm sure a dinner party and meeting a pirate would amuse him.

[ikols]

[ He's just grateful he isn't being grilled about Peter, who makes his heart ache. ]

he is very easily amused, true

[helpdesk_hero]

[David wants to grill him, but that's not fair to friends, and Loki's already dodged talking about it recently so he's not going to make it worse. Plus he's currently panicking over the fact that he really hasn't spoken to Billy yet about this relationship and what he means about him and Tommy. That's a conversation that now needs to happen.]

I don't know about that, but I think it might be interesting for him to meet one.

[ikols]

does he care for pirates especially? i thought he was a lotr fan

[helpdesk_hero]

You think someone who is a LotR fan can't like pirates?

I think it's more that it's interesting to meet an aristocrat turned gentleman pirate?

[ikols]

slightly different tone is all

sure it would
balthier's not billy's type
i'm just saying
because it sounds like you're angling for some weird threesome

[helpdesk_hero]

Wow, I didn't think that you could say something that would make me feel a little sick, but there it is. Like, seriously, making out with Billy isn't even remotely on my 'to do' list.

[Seriously, he's not one of those people that ever wanted to 'nail twins'. Tommy's the Minimoff he loves, and he'll cross that bridge if Tommy ever arrives. But Billy? Fuck no.]

There is actually a difference between thinking Billy would be amused as a person over meeting a literal pirate, and thinking he'd want to sleep with the guy. And Balthier and I aren't sharing.

[ikols]

i know you prefer teddy, everyone and their mother knows THAT, but even so
i am watching you and your ILLICIT DESIRES

[helpdesk_hero]

I prefer Tommy. And Balthier.

Fuck, you kiss ONE GUY because you wanna know what it's like to kiss a guy before YOU DIE and immediately regret it and NO ONE will EVER let it go.

My desires are to do many wonderfully dirty things with my boyfriend. And, because yes I've been reading, no, your name most definitely never comes up.

[ikols]

tommy??????

no one will ever let it go, you're right
it was hilarious

i bet my name comes up ALL the time

[helpdesk_hero]

Billy's twin? We were dating back home.

Sometimes I just want to punch you so much, Loki. And no, it really doesn't.

[ikols]

i KNOW WHO TOMMY IS i did not know you were DATING
you can't punch me
i'm adorable
i'm a lovable scamp

[helpdesk_hero]

On our earth, yeah. Or, well, he doesn't use that word. But it's what we are doing.

I can definitely punch you. The KID is adorable. You're a friend who is often true to your nature

[ikols]

how are you going to punch me to any great effect with your weak little mortal fist?
i punched stephen strange through a BUILDING, do not enter into fisticuffs with asgardians

[helpdesk_hero]

so when did you become the god of exasperation?

[ikols]

i like talking to you, david 3:)

[helpdesk_hero]

So yes? And this is how you get your homage. Cool. Just checking.

I'm presuming you have no food allergies in this form?

[ikols]

you could put cyanide and belladonna in my meal and I would happily eat it
no, no allergies