dn: Thor of Asgard; video

[thecoolerloki]

I apologize for the lateness of the PSA in some of your cases, but hello! You have not been kidnapped! You can cease any calls to police or other such organizations.

I, Loki of Asgard, personally ensure your safety. It would seem some dreadful experiment or perhaps a spell of some sort has drawn you all to this realm, but there's no need for all this crying and melodramatics. If anyone needs clothing or food, I will gladly assist, though I imagine most of you would've found a wallet upon waking? Let's think things through a little bit, please, I'd rather not prove adults right about us.

Instead, I ask that you consider the opportunity you have here. There are no grown-ups to stop you from having candy for every meal, playing games all night, etcetera. In fact, why don't we do these things together? I've been in this position before, and I do not mind assisting the rest of you in realizing how great this truly is. 

And if you're still afraid, what better person to have on your side than a literal god? 

Comments

[thecoolerloki]

My elder self accepts coffee as a prayer offering, if you’d like to try that.

[nerdylilspidey]

Seriously? Coffee?

[thecoolerloki]

We try to keep up with the times. The spell should wear off on its own, though... My magic isn't powerful enough for something that widespread and permanent.

[The first time he's admitting it. Progress!]

[nerdylilspidey]

[Peter's so proud of you for that, Loki. Like, genuinely.] Soooo are we looking at a couple of hours? A day, maybe?

[thecoolerloki]

[He shrugs]

I don't know. Chaos, remember?

[nerdylilspidey]

... I'm not sure what I expected, to be honest.

Welp. How does the older Loki like his coffee?

[thecoolerloki]

I doubt he'll help, regardless of how you prepare it. But! It shouldn't be long enough to require that anyways!

[nerdylilspidey]

It shouldn't? That's--

--Wait wait. Why wouldn't he help??

[thecoolerloki]

Because he's Loki.

[nerdylilspidey]

Wow. So he wouldn't even have a soft spot for his adorable younger self, huh? Seems harsh.

[thecoolerloki]

LOL. There is so much wrong with that statement that I cannot even begin to touch on it.

But to clarify, I don't think he'd see any reason to interfere. It's mischief, and he knows the extent of my powers better than I do. I imagine he's having some fun of his own, robbing a bank or two.

[nerdylilspidey]

I just thought-- I mean, you're all Lokis. So I guess I thought maybe you'd at least have some kind of... "We Look Out For Our Own" type of code situation thing or something. Also I can't believe you'd put that fear into me right now. Please tell me you're joking and that bank robbery is too mundane a crime for someone like him. You. You all.

[thecoolerloki]

I’m joking and he doesn’t commit robbery when he’s bored? He hasn’t invited me to join him?

[nerdylilspidey]

Thank you. That helped exactly zero percent.

[thecoolerloki]

Regardless, I wouldn’t worry about it. I forgot your circumstances, otherwise I wouldn’t have mentioned it.

[nerdylilspidey]

My circumstances? You mean my friendly neighborhood hobbies?

[Private transmission or not, Peter will never be used to admitting these things out loud to other people. It's weird.]

[thecoolerloki]

Precisely. But either way, I haven't robbed any banks myself. Although... maybe that would have been more fun.

[SIGH]

[nerdylilspidey]

[SIGH BACK, BUDDY.]

Do you even need money?

[thecoolerloki]

Video games cost money.

[nerdylilspidey]

Couldn't you... I dunno. Make video games with magic?

[thecoolerloki]

Obviously not. Can you make the newest release of Pokémon with your science?

[nerdylilspidey]

Teeeechnically computer science is how video games get made... But Pokémon on my own? No.

[thecoolerloki]

That’s my point, though. You could create a game certainly, but not the one you actually want to play. And if you created it, you would know every twist and turn.

[nerdylilspidey]

Okay okay, you've got a great point there.


...Wait, are the days of renting video games over?

[thecoolerloki]

Why rent when you can torrent?