dn: Thor of Asgard; video

[thecoolerloki]

I apologize for the lateness of the PSA in some of your cases, but hello! You have not been kidnapped! You can cease any calls to police or other such organizations.

I, Loki of Asgard, personally ensure your safety. It would seem some dreadful experiment or perhaps a spell of some sort has drawn you all to this realm, but there's no need for all this crying and melodramatics. If anyone needs clothing or food, I will gladly assist, though I imagine most of you would've found a wallet upon waking? Let's think things through a little bit, please, I'd rather not prove adults right about us.

Instead, I ask that you consider the opportunity you have here. There are no grown-ups to stop you from having candy for every meal, playing games all night, etcetera. In fact, why don't we do these things together? I've been in this position before, and I do not mind assisting the rest of you in realizing how great this truly is. 

And if you're still afraid, what better person to have on your side than a literal god? 

Comments

[thecoolerloki]

Precisely. But either way, I haven't robbed any banks myself. Although... maybe that would have been more fun.

[SIGH]

[nerdylilspidey]

[SIGH BACK, BUDDY.]

Do you even need money?

[thecoolerloki]

Video games cost money.

[nerdylilspidey]

Couldn't you... I dunno. Make video games with magic?

[thecoolerloki]

Obviously not. Can you make the newest release of Pokémon with your science?

[nerdylilspidey]

Teeeechnically computer science is how video games get made... But Pokémon on my own? No.

[thecoolerloki]

That’s my point, though. You could create a game certainly, but not the one you actually want to play. And if you created it, you would know every twist and turn.

[nerdylilspidey]

Okay okay, you've got a great point there.


...Wait, are the days of renting video games over?

[thecoolerloki]

Why rent when you can torrent?

[nerdylilspidey]

Oh okay, so at least that's still a thing.

God. I've been for months and I still feel wildly out of touch with people my age.

[thecoolerloki]

I don't know if I'm a good example of people your age...

[nerdylilspidey]

Okay, fair enough.

But my point still stands!

[thecoolerloki]

Theoretically I could rob a store, but that can potentially harm the employees who work there. Robbing a bank only harms the bank itself. If such a thing is below me, I imagine stopping bankrobbers should also be below Spider-Man.

[nerdylilspidey]

Um.

You do know that I'm, like, the localest of the local when it comes to superheroes, right? Anyone robbing anything anywhere is kinda my shtick.

[thecoolerloki]

I feel that by the time you’ve met at least two alternate selves, you stop being a local superhero.

[nerdylilspidey]

Even if that only happened by getting pulled into a parallel universe?

[thecoolerloki]

You are currently living in said parallel universe. Do you consider yourself local to here?