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[exasperation]

Display Name: Ripley Arkwright
Profile Photo: here
Notes:

[ the video starts up with ripley at his desk. he clears his throat, trying to seem composed and business-like. he's probably half-way succeeding. ]

Soo. That blackout. That was rough. Right? Right? . . . Right.

Anyway, uh! Stuff happened and — stuff got lost. Or stolen. Stuff and stuff. Oh my god, what am I doing.

[ he clears his throat. ]

My point is. I'm sort of freelancing my . . . powers? They work in teleportation. So I can teleport objects to anywhere in the world, but also if you lost something, I can locate it for you. Anywhere. And that applies to people too.

And, uh, I can also check where to find the best food. Like Yelp, but in my head. Don't ask.

Soo. Anyone . . . interested? Probably?

Comments

[exasperation]

I used to have a lot of cats. For friends.





Wow. I said that.

[sinistral]

No judgement here. They're practical enough.

[exasperation]

Practical???

Cats????

[sinistral]

Pest control.

[exasperation]

That feels like an outdated stereotype that definitely does not hold up anymore.

[sinistral]

Doesn't it though?

[exasperation]

When have you seen a cat chase a mouse.

Like.

Ever.

[sinistral]

When have you seen a cat ignore a mouse?

[exasperation]

All the time! My cats never bothered with mice. I'd be lucky if they lifted a paw against a cockroach. Which would have been helpful.

[sinistral]

Weird. The cats in my last building were great mousers. No pest problems whatsoever.

[exasperation]

And where was that?

[sinistral]

Romania.

[exasperation]

Yeah, that probably tracks. It's probably every cat for themselves over there.

[sinistral]

Now who's talking in stereotypes?

[exasperation]

Am I wrong though.

[sinistral]

Yes.

[exasperation]

There's a big diff between house cats and stray ones.

Do you even own a cat.

[sinistral]

No.

[exasperation]

See? I used to have like three cats.

Really hope they're okay. At home.

[sinistral]

Fine. You win.

[exasperation]

Oh!

That's cool. I never win.

[sinistral]

Go celebrate or something.

[exasperation]

I might?

[sinistral]

Knock your socks off.

[exasperation]

Okay, you seem really hung up on this.