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[frenchkissed]

Display Name: Venom
Profile Photo: Live From Pride
Notes: N/A

No, bud, you don't, like— that's so much more than we're ever going to need, oh my God—

( it's eddie brock looking so, so concerned at something off camera, and then there's a whoosh of flames from beside him and a look of abject horror. )

...How about I do the cooking. Yeah? Sound good? You can do... roll call.

YES!
WE WILL CALL THE ROLL!
AND WE WILL EAT THOSE WHO DO NOT ATTEND.

Yeah— wait, no? No, God... Okay. ( back to looking at the camera. ) Barbeque. We're doing a barbeque— It's... It's gonna be cool. I promise. It's all good.

We have goats. I'll send over the address to anyone who wants to stop by.

Comments

UN: Speed

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Can we please go back to the part where you're going to eat the ones who don't attend? I think that's the important bit.

[frenchkissed]

You think?

...Then maybe you should show up and grab some corn on the cob if you know what's good for you.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Why would I want to go to the guy whose bodysnatcher wants to snack on people?

I am not a self-delivering pizza.

[frenchkissed]

A self-delivering pizza would be pretty convenient... But, no. No. We're not... you're not really going to get eaten. We don't eat people. Often. We try not to...

You're safe, man.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

"Often." "We try not to." You are the worst Gingerbread Hag ever, you know that?

Oh come to the barbecue at my gingerbread house! No, it's totally normal and not at all worrying to have a gingerbread house to catch my dinner - I mean to INVITE you to dinner! Don't mind the second head with all the teeth. The cages by the oven aren't for you!

[frenchkissed]

Wooow, yeah, I think you have the wrong idea, man.

If we wanted to lure a mass of people to their deaths, don’t think a barbecue would be our siren song. Maybe, like, a sign that says free puppies? Or kittens? That sounds way more effective.

…

Also, and just thinking logistically here, but don’t you think one guy against, like, a MASS of superheroes is just sort of asking for trouble?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Yeah I'm not about to give your second head the reasons why a barbecue is a solid choice for that kind of ambush AND I'm also not explaining how you'd plan it out.

[Look, barbecues are very come-and-go-as-you-please. It would be very easy to pick off some when they went to use the bathroom and act like they'd left. ]

[frenchkissed]

If you don't like barbeque, just say you don't like barbeque, man.

Don't make it a whole... species thing...

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Too late I think.