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[dothelokimotion]

[ the feed starts with loki looking somewhat wan and tired, but not easily spotted by those who don't know him. he speaks smoothly, without a hint of annoyance. ]

First off, for new arrivals and older ones who may be unaware, the Operium is always open for hire. If you're struggling for a job, then you're welcome to seek me out and find gainful employment.

Secondly, Thor has left this place. His belongings, however, are still here. I have in my possession:
- Some red cloaks
- A gaming console with a Fortnite subscription claimed
- A grill
- A charm bracelet
- A book on how to raise goats

You can come claim these at the Sunset Falls park. You have half an hour before I set them on fire. Good day.

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki lets out a hiss. ]

There's nothing to be shared. I'm going to burn it all away. Everything.

[ he grips the charm bracelet, hidden away. ]

[unkindled_madness]

I didn't come here to stop you. If you want to burn it, then burn it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his fingers grip the bracelet. metal digs into his skin but all he wants to do is press harder and harder until it's completely distorted. until there's nothing left. better to let it burn. ]

I don't care if he didn't have a choice. I don't care. So what if Thor is gone or all the other connections I've made is gone? It doesn't matter. It never mattered. It's just like the islands.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth moves closer, close enough to reach out and touch Loki, but he doesn't. Not yet.]

...the islands didn't matter?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki seemingly rambles, not really conscious of himself or anything else. all he can feel is the bite of metal. ]

It was the same. I would try. And I would fail. They didn't want anything to do with me, they all gave up on me. Maybe that'll happen to us too. I'll fail you.

[unkindled_madness]

[Now, Sephiroth does reach out a hand and place it firmly on Loki's arm.]

I am not going to abandon you. I don't believe you could fail me in any way that mattered.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki whirls around to face him, eyes bright and feverish with tears. ]

Then why? I'm — I'm a better person, aren't I? I haven't hurt anyone. I gave Thor everything I thought he could want. Why wasn't it enough? Why am I not enough?

[ his hands go to his hair as if he wants to pull the strands out. ]

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be enough and it'll just keep happening. I'll keep losing.

[unkindled_madness]

Loki...

When the world fails you, it isn't because you deserve it. It isn't a just thing.

[Which seems to be one thing that he learned before Loki. There are no inherent rewards for goodness or punishment for harm.]

But you are enough for me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki bows his head. sephiroth was right. he knew that. there are no scales to the universe. and yet, he feels so bruised.

he fishes something from out of his pocket. when he unfolds his fingers, the bracelet sits in the center of his palm. ]

It's . . . the bracelet I gave him. For Yule.

Long — I thought he was happy. Side by side. Like — Like before. But maybe he wasn't. Maybe it's . . . over. He's moved on from me, like I kept saying he would. And it came true.

[unkindled_madness]

[Like he kept saying.]

...do you think you made it happen?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki smiles faintly through the hurt. sephiroth had told him once, you expect an ending. ]

I don't know. I just . . . know it's over. I died and it's over. That's how it should be.

[unkindled_madness]

...I'm sorry. I know you wanted more time.

[To achieve some sense of closure, not just an ending.]

[dothelokimotion]

I did. But I don't think it ever would have been enough.

[ he tosses the bracelet in the air on a whim and then finally tosses it into the pile of thor's things. the fire won't be enough to burn it, but at least it'll be charred. damage it. loki hopes it breaks. twists and burns.

he's going to burn it all. ]

It doesn't matter. You're enough.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth is silent for a moment. Loki wanted so many things from Thor, from his family, his home, that he never got. It was never enough. But for all that he was overlooked or misunderstood, they did give him something.

What does it mean for Sephiroth to be enough, then? Is it a concession? Or can he really offer more than all that? Loki's assured him more than once, but he's also spoken of limiting himself, of feeling he wants too much.

What is being let go here?]

It did matter. But that doesn't mean... you have to be trapped in it.

[Right? You cannot escape the past. You can only cauterize it.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ he thinks of asgard. he thinks of his family, his parents. a long lost murderous sister, a fraught but loving relationship with a brother. all of these bonds have been cut long ago. loki folds his arms around himself, hunching his shoulders as if he wants to crumple himself up like paper.

finally he shakes his head. ]

I'm not trapped. I'm finally free.

[ perhaps it's better if sephiroth doesn't love him. what good is love? what good is loki's love? he was being childish all along. and love is for children. ]

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth isn't convinced. He knows by now that it's never so simple, as much as one might want it to be. But... now isn't the time to argue it.

He nods.]

That can still be daunting, at first.

[dothelokimotion]

I've done it before. I can do it again.

[ long ago, falling without end. it was too much to hope it would stop. it never stops.

finally, loki throws a spark. thor's things catch fire and slowly start to burn. his cloaks wither. his bracelet, charred. he watches the fire for some time, mostly to make sure it won't get out of hand before he turns on his heel. ]

Shall we go?

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth watches with him, as long as he wants. He keeps comparing it in his mind to things they've burned before, but Thor was someone Loki loved, not hated. He wonders if he can fully understand it.

He looks up at the question, searching Loki's face.]

If you like.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki hesitates for a moment, something vulnerable peeking through. ]

Would you — be willing to come to my apartment instead? I don't want to go back . . . alone.

[unkindled_madness]

[That feels more honest, and something in Sephiroth eases.]

Of course. I'd be happy to.

[dothelokimotion]

Thank you.

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth moves a little closer, offering his hand.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ after a moment, loki takes the hand. it trembles under sephiroth's touch. ]

[unkindled_madness]

[Sephiroth's grip, by contrast, is firm.]

I'm here.

[dothelokimotion]

I — [ but then he shakes his head, thinking better of it. the crackle of the fire can be heard behind them. ]

Let's just go.