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[kid_flash_found]

Display Name: Bart Allen
Profile Photo: here
Notes: Cock(erel) talk

[Bart opens sitting in a pen with a pair of what to the casual eye look like very small chickens calmly enjoying his company.]

So, as some of you may remember, back in the first week of April I got a dozen day-old chicks to raise up to lay eggs in the future. They were sexed to be girls, but unfortunately that's not a foolproof check that early in life. So...

[He pauses to pick up the mostly white one, who barely struggles at the manhandling and quickly calms in his lap after a few protesting caws and pets from his owner.]

This one isn't a hen. Well, technically the girls are called pullets at this age, but this fella here? He's a cockerel. And I'm not planning to breed new chicks, so I need to find him a good home. As you can see he's pretty well mannered and doesn't tend towards bad habits, although he will untie your shoelaces for you if you let him. But he is a boy and he does crow, so make sure you have enough space so he doesn't decide to do it right outside your window every morning. A rooster's crow is so loud you really shouldn't be listening without ear protection. As a matter of fact, nature has given roosters a natural ear protection for when they crow, otherwise they'd deafen themselves.

But enough of that. If you have interest in a good feathery boy, feel free to contact me. All I ask is he be well taken care of and have a good life.

Comments

[deemed]

only for dinner, which i assume you would be opposed to

[kid_flash_found]

He might make three pounds fully grown. Hardly enough for a decent meal. And yes, I'd prefer he not be dinner. That's part of why I don't want him breeding with the girls, either. I have moral objections to knowing my food by name.

[deemed]

back home i've a pair of goats who come back to life every morning after being killed-- so long as you don't break their legs. made it useful for long trips where game was scarce. best goats in the world, toothgnasher and toothgrinder



[ .... this probably isn't that type of chicken, is it ]

[kid_flash_found]

He's not a magic bird. At least, I got him from a perfectly normal farm supplier. Along with the other 11 girls. Barbara and Jane are the only ones who have really earned names so far.

Does that mean you're a version of the Norse god of thunder?

[deemed]

[ what is this 'a version'??? he is him ]

i am thor, aye

[kid_flash_found]

[Look, he's aware even gods may have alternate-dimension doppelgangers.]

The one who dressed in drag to marry a frost giant that one time?

[He's curious. And he has read the Prose Eddas and the Saga of the Volksungs, although neither in the original. Finding good sources for the language is tricky.]

[deemed]

it was to get my hammer back, and it was lokis idea

[kid_flash_found]

Legends and myths are weird. Maybe you can tell me your versions. I already asked one of the Lokis about the horse thing.

[deemed]

my brother would be better at the telling than i

[kid_flash_found]

But would you agree with his version?

[deemed]

i might. or i might not. but that is less important than the story itself, however it is told

[kid_flash_found]

I don't follow. Shouldn't the facts matter more than a good story?

[deemed]

for mortals, yes. your histories detail the things which did or did not happen to you. for a god it is more complicated. it is the stories which are told about us make us what we are.

[kid_flash_found]

In my experience, most gods are giant dicks, so I can't see how the stories would make it better. One of my teammates back home seems to do nothing but shout at Zeus when he deigns to grant her his presence, and she's his granddaughter.

[deemed]

who said anything about the stories making it better? the stories are what they are.