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[somepig]

display name: Spider-Ham
profile pic: here
notes: n/a

[What appears onscreen is a pig in a Spider-Man suit. He doesn't look quite real, though. Aside from the fact that he walks on two limbs? He also looks over-saturated and cel-shaded. Like a cartoon character come to life.]

Howdy fellow Confluencers! That's the right word for it right? I'm Spider-Ham! I'm sure most of you want to get home by now, and lucky for you I got this handy dimensional travel watch. Watch and be amazed as I teleport from here to back to mine then back to here in the blink of an eye.

[He doesn't teleport]

...in the blink of an eye.

[He still doesn't teleport]

Hang on for second folks, technical difficulties. Lemme just flip this open and- wait, where's the Bee-Yonder? Okay, there's a note here...On vacation, bee back later.

ON VACATION, BEE BACK LATER? You've gotta be kidding me! What is this hogwash?

Comments

[somepig]

Fun fact! I actually was a spider. But then I got bitten by a radioactive pig.

[makeanentrance]

And what about this ... Moosesterio? What can he do?

[somepig]

Create illusions, mostly. Also somehow manage fit his fishbowl helmet over his antlers.

[makeanentrance]

That sounds very inconvenient.

So this watch of yours. Is it a gag or does it usually work?

[somepig]

Usually, yeah. It didn't for a while. but then Iron Mouse shoved the Bee-Yonder into it.

[makeanentrance]

I could take a look at it. I know a thing or two about inter-dimensional travel.

[somepig]

See, on the one hand I would like it to work? On the other, you're an alternate universe version of one of my archenemies.

No offense, but I have absolutely no reason to trust you. Just because I'm silly doesn't mean I'm stupid.

[makeanentrance]

Unfortunately, that is my reputation and current legacy.

I would like to change that... But I do understand about your unwillingness to trust.