RUE MOORE HAS IT: JULY EDITION

[ruemoore]

Hel-lo Metacuties- Rue here. Bet'cha missed me~.

I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of my absence, but rest assured, I’ve brought more than enough gossip about your favorite heroes and villains.

[Rue winks.]

Let’s just jump right into it.

Arrowsfan reached out with a quiver of hot tips about our favorite thundering Viking. It turns out he might not be as tough as he lets on.

Thor was seen crying behind a jaeger because he fractured his toe but didn't want to seem weak. Maybe because he’s claustrophobic? Allegedly, he was too scared to get in the jaeger because of it. Later on in the battle, Thor was seen telling a kaiju it was beautiful both inside and out. When it did not accede to his flirtations he decided to kill it to save his ego! Sounds like someone doesn't deal well with rejection!

Good news for all you lonely hearts out there! I've heard that Tony Stark is in love with one of the models who posed for his line of dildos - but they are already married! His heart is broken, and he is open to flings in the hope of mending it!

Sources also report that Robin is the most eligible bachelor in all of Central City. If you catch him atop a rooftop after dark, rumor is you will be rewarded with a kiss...oh, speaking of, has anybody seen that freaky clown ARG going on?

And VENOM!!!!!! [Rue somehow reads this with all of the exclamation points!] is here to let us know that a certain Eddie Brock is, and I quote, “EDDIE BROCK IS A HANDSOME AND ELIGIBLE BACHELOR WHO IS WELL DESERVING OF A MATE”!

In fashion news, up-and-coming wunderkind David Alleyne was seen taking off a pair of shades, only to reveal another pair underneath! Can you say new fashion trend?

The Supreme Loki has come in hot with a report that there is a fourth Loki running amok! This one is a badass teen and claims to be funnier, smarter, and prettier than all other Lokis combined! How exciting for us!

Anonymous has also reported that the reason Prodigy wears a helmet is because they're not actually a meta in the way they say. They're actually an ancient Dullahan seeking its long missing steed. And this one wears a ton of yellow so no one will realize it's a Dullahan and use its weakness of gold to drive it away!

Another anonymous superfan of our new favorite idol says that Gungnir is secretly trying to eat at as many restaurants as possible, and you may be able to catch her out of costume at one if you can manage to recognize her. Hint: She apparently eats a lot. Like, A LOT.

Finally, multiple citizens from Central City have reported something strange. There's something mysterious happening in the karaoke bars across Central City, possibly caused by an uncontrolled meta. Karaoke goers find themselves dancing against their will, sometimes laughing against their will as well. One night nobody in the bar was able to speak for thirty minutes! There's also the time everyone felt dizzy, but that could've been the beer talking.

Comments

[doctopoda]

Sunglasses and goggles, when I'm working. Close enough.

[David's probably seen him do it. He could likely get Adaptech to spring for prescription tinted goggles of some kind, but frankly he's already had to ask for several other accommodations and it makes him feel like sort of a burden.]

[helpdesk_hero]

Definitely agreed as close enough. Can even guess why you'd need them.

You got a good set here?

[doctopoda]

I'm sure you can.

[Ocular damage is one of the most predictable outcomes, after an accident like his. Otto tries not to make too many assumptions about his various doubles, but David's mentioned that his world's version used to work in energy, too. It's not a far stretch to imagine there was a similar...incident.]

Yes, I went to an optometrist recently.

[Which is an unreasonable amount of time to put off seeing a doctor, for how long he's been here, but. Look.]

I have special therapeutic glasses now. I look like a retiree from Florida, but they have helped.

[it's not that bad, they're actually kinda cool if you like cherry red lenses!]

[helpdesk_hero]

Glad to hear it. Would suck to have someone not have the gear they need at work. Especially since we're supposed to help people function in their daily lives to their levels of comfort.

[doctopoda]

I suppose I'm still finding what works best.
This didn't happen very long before I ended up here.

[That, and he's been slow to make accommodations for himself. It still feels a little bit like a coddling he doesn't deserve...but that would be a very poor example to set in this particular field, wouldn't it?]

Do you know, I've had people ask me about developing "tentacle prosthetics"?

Notification on this disappeared, sorry

[helpdesk_hero]

That’s understandable. Just remember to take care of yourself.

Also I’m HOPING they want that because in a way they would be more functional than human limbs. Though sleeping with them has to be a pain.

[doctopoda]

No. Function would be one thing, but this is absolutely about the aesthetics.
I think Excelsior just attracts that type.

[It is a more functional design in several ways - there's a reason he built the actuators the way he did. If anyone had made it about that, well, he'll have that conversation. But Otto frankly doesn't want to deal with people treating the wreckage of his life like some kind of fashion trend.]

Oh, most things are a pain! But the sleeping is particularly bad.

[helpdesk_hero]

I mean, you're not wrong. We're here after all. But Uh... I'd say be careful if you agree to do that.]

[Some people might have... ulterior intentions.]

I'm guessing you have no choice but to sleep on your stomach or your side.

[doctopoda]

Don't worry, I'm not about to do something like that.
We've got our hands plenty full with Andy.

[Otto's not interested in going into business on his own when he's got a perfectly good job! Or in setting anyone up with anything quite like what he's got. These weren't exactly made for everyday use, no matter how things ended up.]

I used to be a back sleeper.
Of course that's the one that's best for your spine.

[ha ha he's in so much pain all the time]

[helpdesk_hero]

I've already worked out that bug where he put a bit too much force into thumb wrestling. He's coming along great. It's almost time for some real trials.


Have you considered a sleep therapist? They might help you find a way to compensate.

[doctopoda]

I haven't.

[Genuinely he hasn't - although now that he is, that seems like a lot of fuss.]

Well, what's one more appointment?

[helpdesk_hero]

Our health care isn't that bad. And come on, if you aren't sleeping well, how are you going to help make other people live good lives?

[doctopoda]

Yes, yes, okay. I'll look into it.

You know, you would have gotten along very well with my wife.

[helpdesk_hero]

Why, because I'm fussing over a coworker and friend?

[doctopoda]

Oh, yes. She loved anyone else who'd make me take a break.
I'd have dropped dead by forty if it weren't for her.

[Either that or finished his reactor and gone insane and monstrous much sooner? Huh, maybe that accounts for the seeming time gap between him and the alternate. What a miserable fate.]

[helpdesk_hero]

Well, I'm sure Balthier and I can fuss to see you care for yourself.

[doctopoda]

There's really no need to worry so much about me.

[there probably is, but like,]

[helpdesk_hero]

You're important to the man I love, and one of my coworkers, and someone I can look up to the technological successes of. Of COURSE I worry.

[doctopoda]

[Aww. That's rather touching.]

Well, thank you. I do appreciate it.

[helpdesk_hero]

[That’s sorta just how David works actually.]

Gladly. Take care of yourself. I’ve got to go stop my boyfriend from laughing his head off at the idea of my fashion being so bad.

[doctopoda]

Have fun.

I'll go get started on a pair of layered sunglasses for you.

[helpdesk_hero]

Claim the fashion as all your own. I didn’t start it.