OURPOWERS | VIDEO | PUBLIC

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Display Name: speed
Profile Photo: Shiny
Notes: N/A

[ A tired young man who looks exactly like Billy Kaplan, colouring aside, is broadcasting from one of them Diadem rooms. ]

Anyone else fall out of the sky and run down the side of a building today? I might’ve missed seeing someone worthwhile because I didn’t read the nonexistent sign telling me to stay put the entire time.

So. Guilds, flash hotel rooms, superhero social media for public outreach or whatever. Consider yourselves reached. Name’s Speed. Should I give the tour now, or wait until I hit ten thousand followers? Nah. I know.

[ There’s a jumble of frames that are barely in focus. Anyone who pauses at the right spots will catch moments of a superspeed tour of the room: Tommy dressed but in repose on the bed, pretending to drink from the minibar, showing off the full ice bucket, and of course a bathroom mirror selfie before returning to where he’s been sitting. ]

I’ll redo it every time I get a cool number of follows, a little slower each time. I get bored. I’m already bored. There’s nothing to do in this hotel except watch tv. I’m going out. In a world where you could go anywhere you want at any minute, where would you go that’s not lame?

And don’t say Paris - I’ve been there, and it’s French. Good carbs. Bad music.

Comments

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

It's not a big one, but they've got the basic rides and stuff. Honestly, the main attraction is the greasy fair food. Best deep-fried cookie dough I've ever had.

... So, hey, weird question, I don't think we've met, but I think I work with your brother?

[slowmotionbuscrash]

You say it’s a question, and it definitely sounds like a question, but if you really work with him, then I don’t think you’d have to ask. He’s walking around with my face.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I mean, yeah, you're twins, I was asking because there's all sorts of alternate universes and mixed-up timeline stuff going on here, so we might have already met from your perspective. Lemme start over.

Hi, I'm Squirrel Girl, I work with your brother Wiccan on the New Avengers.

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Hi, I'm Speed. I work with these nerds sometimes - nerds plus Hawkeye - the good Hawkeye - because someone's got to pick up the slack. I haven't been invited to the serious, grown-up Avengers side of the table because I'm not as nice as Wiccan is and they've already got the occasional help of Quicksilver. So let him deal with them.

Present company excluded. I follow you on Twitter - you're OK.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Aw, thank you!

[ She would argue that her twitter account is pretty darned good, actually, but you know what, she'll take the compliment! ]

So which Hawkeye has the dog? I've seen him around with both of them, and he is the goodest of boys, but I've always wondered!

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I think the answer is "both". It's hard to tell, but you know. Which one of them has the Hawkeye name? Both. Which one gets to wear purple? Both. Do they timeshare the dog? Yes.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Excellent, that way he gets twice the pets!

Dude, let me know if you make a twitter account here, I'ma follow you back!

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I'ma hold you to that. It's @ imbehindyou.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Nice! Mine's @ SquirrelPower.

[ if they weren't on video, she would ABSOLUTELY GLANCE BEHIND HER, he's a speedster, it could happen! ]

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ it could absolutely happen. Only reason it hasn’t is that he doesn’t know where she is. ]

Woah, no way! This is my shocked face.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ it's only a matter of time! ]

I know, right! The username was right there!

picture/meme; sometimes it pays to be slow

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ Have a picture of Tommy, posed very similar to the icon and in a clear homage of the Aliens guy. The meme text reads "SQUIRRELS". ]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

OH MY GOD!!

[ SHE IS DELIGHTED, HELLO NEW FAVOURITE PERSON! ]

[slowmotionbuscrash]

Yes, my child?

[ He never gets to be the favorite twin; this is new. ]

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ Clearly Billy needs to make more memes! ]

Dude, that was amazing! Who knew superspeed translated to super memes too?

... Wait, hold up, 'my child?' There's no way you're older than me!

[ fun fact: she does not know how old Billy is, but yes, the twins are definitely older than her ]

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ Tommy shrugs. ]

You're the one who called me your god, and I'm not about to turn away ardent followers.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Ohmyg...gosh.

Note to self: never say that around Loki in case he also decides to goof and take it literally!

[slowmotionbuscrash]

I'm gonna tell him you like me better.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Hah! Good one, that's... wait, hang on, my phone just pinged.

[ AND THEN SHE CHECKS TWITTER... ]

WHY WOULD YOU--!!

[ you have been HUNG UP ON, SIR!! ]

[slowmotionbuscrash]

[ THE INSULT. ]