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[kindofamazing]

Listen, to everyone else, I'm real sorry about using this thing into a bit of a a personal megaphone, but--

I hear the word on the street is that there are a whole buncha Spider-People swingin' around now and causing alls sorts of webby problems, so maybe we need a show of hands and a system. Perhaps a group chat? Do we have a group chat? We should have a Spider-Group Chat.

You know, for tactical... Spider... things. Like organising pizza night. The important stuff!

Comments

[tinglesense]

Wait! Are we really doing pizza night tho??? I want pizza night for sure!

Wouldn't it be crazy if we all had different faves for pizza...

[kindofamazing]

Oh jeeze... I hadn't even thought of that. Maybe we do.

But I mean, if I'm being honest, my favourite is also the most basic. No point in ruining a classic with all the extra stuff, right? Who needs more than your standard pineapple and anchovies, am I right?

[tinglesense]

Oh, c'mon, that's not even a good joke. Everyone knows you don't mix pineapple with anchovies. Pineapple goes on top of barbecue chicken. With peppers.

[ Good to know they still have similar terrible senses of humour! ]

That's not really basic, though. Guess we are different!

[kindofamazing]

Wow, your world has no sense of taste!

[There's a fond smile in his voice though.]

Pretty sure we didn't need pizza to show we're different though. Maybe the real test is ice cream.

[tinglesense]

You have to say things like that! Battle of the worlds or something.

[ Tbh he's glad it never was that, that they weren't somehow pitted against each other. ]

Ice cream, huh? You mean they don't have the pickle juice flavour in your world? You guys really are behind the times.

[kindofamazing]

Only battle of flavour choices! Sounds like we could do with a multiversal cook-off! Though I don't know whose palette in the universe could handle the range. Can't be from your earth though, clearly!

... and man, come on, pickle juice flavour ice cream? Really? Everyone knows you add pickles to your ice cream. You make it an artificial flavour and it's just not the same!

[tinglesense]

Don't count my earth out just yet. We lost a few years when everyone was, uh…missing.

[ """Missing""" ]

But I gotta find someone here from my earth who can actually cook.

Oh, what, like chunks of pickles in it? Hm, I'm not sold. Maybe if you just dump relish over the top.

[kindofamazing]

... Missing? What do mean missing? Like, between the couch cushions missing or missing? You need to be more specific.

[Because that sounds like one of those big things like aliens and it entirely distracts him from the food jokes.]

[tinglesense]

It would be pretty wild to lose half a universe in the couch cushions.

[ AWKWARD LAUGH, why did he bring this up? Why can't he ever just shut up? ]

There was this...guy...named Thanos. He's an alien, I guess? A really powerful alien and he thought that he could solve scarcity by, you know. Killing half the universe. He got these crazy powerful objects called Infinity Stones and if you get all of them you can pretty much do whatever you want.

[ There's some details of this that Peter is missing or not aware of. He wasn't supposed to be involved, after all, not really. ]

So eventually he got them and...did what he said he was going to do.

[ A pause. It's too long. Shit, say something else. ]

So they weren't, you know, missing. Half the universe didn't exist.

[ He's skirting around the part where he's included in that half. ]

But the Avengers fixed it. It just...took them five years. So everything is pretty messed up, since people blipped back right where they'd disappeared, which was sometimes in a house other people now owned and things? Yeah, it's a mess.

Sorry, the jokes were a lot better than all of this crap.