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[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Display Name: UnbeatableSG
Profile Photo: An extreme close-up of a grey squirrel in a bow taking a selfie!


Ooookay. Just... just gonna jump right in and do this.

[ DEEP BREATH. Doreen - as Squirrel Girl, she's in full costume - has been thinking about making this post for a while, but thinking about it and doing it are two vastly different things. There's an encouraging chirp from offscreen, much like the sound a squirrel might make if she were giving someone a pep talk, and Doreen grins. ]

Right, thanks Tips. Okay, so hi! I'm Squirrel Girl, you guys, uh... probably knew that already. But...

[ She slowly, dramatically... reaches up and takes off her headband! ]

... I'm also Doreen Green. To anyone who knew me as just one or the other, I'm sorry for lying to you. Secret Identities are a big thing where I'm from, and they're still kind of a big deal here, but... I've been thinking about it, some stuff happened back home, and I want to try living as myself, for once. All of myself.

[ There's an awkward silence. Doreen didn't really think about how to end this confession! ]

... I guess that's it! Lemme know if you want some squirreleese lessons. Doreen-slash-Squirrel-Girl out!

Comments

[honeybadgerer]

I didn't even know you had a secret identity.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Yeah, dude! Back home I'm in college!

[honeybadgerer]

How was I supposed to know?

Why college?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Technically speaking you weren't, up 'til like five minutes ago. Secret identity!

[ finger guns! ]

Because I like learning, and computer science is really cool and useful for all sorts of things!

[honeybadgerer]

[ huh. ]

I guess.

I got school in the horrible secret facility.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I'm sorry you went through that. If you ever want to try learning computer science in a not horrible facility that isn't at all secret, I do classes at the public library sometimes?

[honeybadgerer]

Nah, it's fine. But it put me off school.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Totally understandable! I wouldn't be big on it either, under similar circumstances.

[honeybadgerer]

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.

So you balance school with superheroing? Even here?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Nah, I haven't been to school in a hot minute. Kinda... put that on pause when I got here. I just teach coding workshops for kids at the library, sometimes.

[honeybadgerer]

How come you didn't go back?

private!

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Money, mostly. I was doing the Unaligned thing, which meant no official ID, which meant applying for student loans would've been way harder, plus, like... no paid-for housing, so getting a job and paying rent took priority.

[honeybadgerer]

Oh, right.

I'm doing okay for money, with my Jurassic Park. I should do other adult stuff too, sometime.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

... Wait, do you have to pay rent? Aren't you like twelve??

(Also, would very much like to visit Jurassic Park sometime!)

[honeybadgerer]

I just break into random empty apartments.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

GABBY WHAT.

WHAT.

[honeybadgerer]

Well, what was I supposed to do?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

I don't know! I sort of assumed this whole stupid Unaligned thing wasn't leaving literal kids homeless, but apparently I was misinformed!

Look, I'm thinking of signing up with the Alliance guys now that they're less sketchy and government-affiliated; if they let me in, do you want to crash in my apartment?

[honeybadgerer]

[ to be fair, she hadn't really cared. while gabby isn't used to being alone, she knows how to take care of herself. she's not an assassin for nothing. ]

You sure?

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

Wouldn't make the offer, if I wasn't. Can you talk to Jonathan, make sure he'll be cool with Tippy?

[honeybadgerer]

I'll try.